YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
