This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize