i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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