So drunk its hurt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just pee around me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
