ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize