my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize