he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
