I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
