just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
