Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
