Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
