i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
