I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
