Porn is love you can see.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
