just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
