Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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