when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
