Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Drunk is not a location!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
