I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
