At least make sure they are 18
Why
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
