when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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