I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
