How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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