90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
