lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
