The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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