Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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