Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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