that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
