if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
