I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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