YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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