yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
