Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
