I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
