can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
