She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
