I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
