All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's Friday. Sex?
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
