Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize