Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
