She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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