omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize