are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't deserve a penis
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
