Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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