Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
