For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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