i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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