I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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