You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
