Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
