i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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