I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
