no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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