I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i need some magic done to my vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
