I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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