I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Screwed.edu
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
