they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
