go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize