You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
