My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
