I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
