PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
