U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize