why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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