Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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