he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
