i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
