i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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