we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
