For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
