There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
