She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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