I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
